A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
My feet surprised me
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