Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
We smell like vodka and hangover
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