I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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