Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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