Who did Billy Mays play for?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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