they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
