my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
