and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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