No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
