I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
