I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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