Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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