thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize