I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
