That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize