Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
