he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Randomize
