Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
