Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just took my morning after pill in the library
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
