Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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