You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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