btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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