i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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