May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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