this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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