her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
