Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
