Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
