He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
