New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
