I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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