So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
