i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
