You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
