Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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