i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
