She's JV to your varsity
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
