I can text with my tongue
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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