Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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