Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It's blow job season.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
