fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
