I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
