I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
