I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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