Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize