PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
