But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
a search helicopter?!
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
