I think I just saw someone hide a body.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
