these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You are a genius and a whore.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
