Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize