And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize