im gay
i know
yea but for you.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
This toilet bowl is my home.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
