Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
