I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
