I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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