you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
