This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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