he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
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