I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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