she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
